Navigating the Fog of Grief: How the Brain Copes and How You Can Too
Grief is one of the most deeply human experiences we face. It’s not limited to the loss of a loved one—grief can surface after a relationship ends, a job changes, health declines, or life shifts in unexpected ways.
Sometimes, grief extends beyond the individual and becomes collective grief, when an entire community or even a nation feels the impact of a tragedy together. However it shows up, grief has both an emotional and physical effect. Understanding how the brain processes grief and learning healthy ways to navigate it can help us address the pain while still moving forward.
The “Grief Brain”
When you’re grieving, you may notice foggy thinking, forgetfulness, or difficulty concentrating. Many people describe it as “grief brain.” This isn’t weakness—it’s your nervous system working overtime.
Grief triggers stress responses in the brain. The limbic system, which processes emotions, becomes highly active. Meanwhile, the prefrontal cortex—the part responsible for decision-making and focus—can feel overloaded. That’s why paying bills, remembering appointments, or even forming sentences may suddenly feel overwhelming.
Recognizing grief brain allows you to give yourself more grace. It explains why simple tasks feel hard and reminds you that your mind is protecting and processing a major emotional wound.
The Dual Process Model of Grief
Healing doesn’t happen in a straight line. One helpful framework is the dual process model of grief. This concept shows how people move back and forth between two modes:
Loss-oriented coping – When you lean into grief, allowing yourself to feel sadness, anger, longing, or the full weight of what was lost.
Restoration-oriented coping – When you step into everyday life—working, connecting with friends, tackling tasks, and even experiencing moments of joy.
This dual process explains why you can cry deeply one moment and laugh at a funny memory the next. Both are part of healing. Oscillating between grief and normal life doesn’t mean you’re “in denial.” It means your brain and body are wisely pacing the process.
Ways to Handle Grief
While grief is unique to each person, there are practices that can support healing and resilience:
Give yourself permission to feel
Suppressing grief doesn’t make it disappear—it often resurfaces later. Allowing tears, journaling emotions, or simply sitting with feelings can create healthy release.Lean on support systems
Connection is a powerful buffer. Talk with trusted friends, join a support group, or seek professional counseling if the weight feels too heavy to carry alone.Honor and remembrance
Light a candle, create a memory box, or visit a meaningful place. These activities give structure to mourning and help anchor love in tangible ways.Care for the body
Grief drains energy. Eating nourishing foods, moving gently, and resting are not luxuries—they are necessary for your nervous system to recover.Practice gentle flexibility
Some days you may feel capable; other days you may not. Let productivity ebb and flow without judgment. Healing isn’t linear.Seek moments of restoration
Even small joys—a walk outside, a favorite meal, a comforting book—help restore balance and remind your brain that life continues alongside loss.
When to Reach Out for Help
Sometimes grief feels heavier than we can manage on our own—and that’s not a failure, it’s simply being human. Reaching out to a counselor, therapist, or trusted friend can provide strength and perspective when:
Daily functioning becomes overwhelming for long periods of time
Sleep, appetite, or basic self-care are consistently disrupted
You feel stuck in your grief, unable to find moments of restoration
Intense sadness, anger, or guilt feels unmanageable
Thoughts of hopelessness or self-harm arise
Support doesn’t erase grief, but it can make the path less isolating. Asking for help is an act of courage and self-compassion.
Final Thoughts
Grief reshapes us, but it doesn’t define us. By understanding how the brain responds, embracing the back-and-forth rhythm of dual processing, leaning on trusted support, and engaging in intentional self-care, we can move through grief with compassion for ourselves. Healing is less about “getting over” a loss and more about learning how to carry it while still living fully.